HOW OBSESSED ARE YOU?
Recently, I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine. She narrated how her relationship failed
because she felt she gave all and was attracted to her her ex-boyfriend.
She became outrageous and angry because she felt she was used. She explained how she was really into him. Part of it was that she is frustrated and feeling that this person didn’t give the relationship a real chance.
Most times she would call and text him constantly just to ensure he’s not seeing someone else or the thought of him considering being with anyone besides her.
She started limiting her engagement in recreational activities or other relationships to the point of being unable to function in a normal manner.
She tried to limit the number of people he hang out with, convincing him that his friends and family
are toxic. She ensured he was glued to her.
There is the feeling of possession she had whenever she sees him interacting with members of the
opposite sex. She ensured all his activities are monitored.
She constantly analyzed every gesture or word toward her to assess the depth of his feelings.
And then I asked her “why do you feel attracted to him?” She said “She had this obsessive thought
that they were meant for each other.” It really did hit me how much time, energy, attention and love we give to our crush, ex-boyfriend, girlfriend that we feel infatuated to.
Some of us are prone to infatuation. We find ourselves falling in an infuriatingly intractable manner for someone who we termed “Special” by clicking to them emotionally and spiritually.
Obsession is an extremely, unhealthy interest in someone, something or worry about something.
It’s unhealthy no matter what the obsession is. Regardless of the reason or frequency, obsessive
thought patterns can negatively affect our day-to-day activities, motive and – most importantly – our relationship.
It could be “OBSESSION LOVE DISORDER”, “OBSESSION IN TRYING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE”.
“OBSESSION LOVE DISORDER”
I narrated the chit-chat I had with my friend. When you’re infatuating over a close friend or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend that you can’t be with, then these obsessive thoughts will hinder you from moving on in life.
Infatuation, is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.
Someone who suffers from “Obsessive Love Disorder” usually wants to spend an excessive amount of time with the other person, to the point that they are always thinking about them and behaving in ways that put them in touch with the other person.
They “Desire to own the person” – Being Possessive. You don’t what other people seeing this person as a possible object of affection.
You hinder them from getting in touch with their friends and family and also not giving enough
attention to their career to maintain a high quality of life. You don’t want anyone to think that this
person is available or get the idea that they like someone else as more than a friend.
how to overcome infatuation How To Overcome Infatuation omeone;
Recognize the thoughts when they start and notice them.
Define the relationship.
Disengage the relationship. I want to suggest it’s time to get someone out of your life when you feel obsessed. That doesn’t mean you give up on love. But sometimes you have to create some space for someone in order to be able to breathe properly.
Try to be conscious and get something doing to avoid the thoughts of wanting the person to desire to like you.
Give yourself time to take an in-depth look into the relationship and extract all of the positives and negatives aspect. Each day is a new opportunity, you should avoid focusing on the things you don’t like perhaps even dread.
When you feel you’re giving all in a relationship try to lessen the time you give to them. Don’t be too available for them.
OBSESSION IN TRYING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE
We try every means possible not to be ourselves. We tend to compare ourselves to our peers, things we see on social media. When we compare ourselves we experience low self-esteem because we would be so worried that we’ve not gotten what they possess or we are yet to attain some certain height they’ve gotten to.
I would quote this: “You don’t have to imitate others before you live your life, Live your life and Enjoy every Phase that life brings you”. Once we live for others by imitating them, we won’t enjoy life and we would be prevented from growing because we would be so concerned about the things they own, their personality and how we could please them. This goes on and on, until we end up feeling complete utter failures, because we couldn’t meet up to their expectations.
Being ourselves fully takes courage, commitment and faith. It could be scary, difficult and off-putting at times. However, being our authentic self is liberating, fulfilling and exciting.
HERE ARE A FEW THINGS TO CONSIDER AND PRACTICE AS YOU DEEPEN YOUR AWARENESS OF BEING WHO YOU TRULY ARE:
Practice just being you – Be your real self!
Appreciate who you are.
Learn how to love yourself so you can love others. Because you can’t give away what you don’t have. If you’ll focus on the good things about others, instead of comparing yourself to them or imitating them, it will be easier to be at peace with them. I believe one of the best ways to love your life is to give yourself a break.
Learn to embrace your flaws and imperfections. I believe one of the best way to enjoy life to the fullest is to embrace our flaws, have a happy life, focus on us and our capabilities.
Work on yourself every day. You are unique.
Build your self-esteem and confidence. The best possible thing you can do for your self-esteem is to go easier on other people. Consistently seek the best in them, recognize their authentic and unique type of success rather than comparing ourselves to them.
Think for yourself; Shun criticisms and how people make their judgement and what they may think of you. Exercising self-control sets you free to live with real peace and joy.
Avoid allowing anyone dictate how you would be like them and also don’t give them the chance to CONTROL your life. Don’t let circumstances and other people control your joy.
Choose what you will and desire to be. Try not to compromise based on their assumptions which are not true or facts. BECOME A BETTER YOU!
In order for things to change in our lives, we must be willing to change and become a better person.
Walk away from negative people and negative things. In order to really give yourself a break, step away from people or things that bring you discouragement and sour your outlook on life because they will affect you.
Step away from harmful influences or negative talk every chance you get and stop being afraid of what people will think about you.
